a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
—ecclesiastes 3:6b, 7a

We only have a few hours left before the year is over and I'm not sure I am done with it. It is a strange feeling, not really knowing how to feel about something. Although it seems I’m about to start philosophizing, I don’t feel in the mood to do that. The setting is perfect, though: I’m sitting beside my sister at a Starbucks in Mexicali, Baja California, the city I love and am not sure why; there’s a grande mocha frappuccino in front of me; Spotify is playing Coldplay; and I am writing on my three-and-a-half-year-old MacBook. Does that sound extremely hipster? I just got the shivers.

Two thousand thirteen witnessed an unusual time in my life. I’m inclined to think that, although this might not have been my best year, I spent less time making mistakes and more time trying to mend things. At least this last semester. But anyway, for those who will take the time to read this, I will list a few things that I am thankful for and a few resolutions for the new year in lieu of a humongous reflection that only I care about. 

This year I probably read more than ever. I learned a few things about prayer, and there were some good moments talking to God and feeling His Spirit work in me. Through the help of some great teachers, I have grown in my knowledge of music, and thanks to my clarinet mentor, I have learnt to love the clarinet. The support I have received from my family and close friends has helped me continue as I struggle trying to balance my life. And last but not least at all, God has been my אבן העזר (Eben-Ezer) even when I have abused His love, and that’s the greatest gift of all.

The new year won’t bring great things. Years don’t do that, and though we know this by heart, we keep hoping they will bring something better without us changing a bit. There are so many things I want to accomplish this new year: be a better clarinetist; expand my knowledge of orchestral repertoire; be a better son, brother, and friend; perhaps losing some weight. My last resolution kind of summarizes everything and will be my focus: being more loving. I want to be more like Jesus and see the worth He sees in every single person. If I am able to accomplish something this new year, may that be it.

Philosophize I did, and as my coffee and time ran out my writing I stop.

Leave a Reply.